I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
