I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
