SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The adults are the big ones right?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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