well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
tell me about the eggs
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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