I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
