Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
