You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i think im in europe. pls send help
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
