I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
