i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
