Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
