Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
