this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
