week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
