I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize