Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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