1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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