so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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