i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
