i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it glows. i had to have it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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