Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
