she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
time to smoke my breakfast
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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