So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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