remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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