we're blogging at a bar
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
