I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
