Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
well you can't waste a boner
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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