Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
