At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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