i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
