K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
