the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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