There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
