i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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