very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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