In the future we'll all be gay
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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