You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
