i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize