My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize