I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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