...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
