Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize