Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
