This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
