is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
