I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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