She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize