sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's official drugs can't kill me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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