But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Apparently you make a good broom.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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