guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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