I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
In other news, I just burned my penis
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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