Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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