I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
