k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
