Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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