Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
