I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
