Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
