hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My hand turned me down
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
