I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
