im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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