so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
