So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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