And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
