I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
