She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just high enough for therapy.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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