we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
