I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
