I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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