It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
