for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Everclear isn't food dammit
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
why is half of my head shaved?
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