a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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