there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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