discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
