she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
