bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
