So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
