i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
