I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
