is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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