I didn't shave. On purpose
I think I died a long time ago.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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