I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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