I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
