We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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