no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
