I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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