Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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