ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
